Stress has been the constant drumbeat in my life for a long time. For the last several years, I helped my husband cope with cancer—the first one almost 6 years ago— the one he survived. And then about a year ago he was diagnosed with a second, new, cancer that ultimately took his life. Sprinkled in those years were some other health issues, deaths, and usual problems of daily life. Like most people, I did the best I could to cope.

Both my husband and I loved the beach—I found the action of the waves as they send watery fingers reaching out to the shore to be soothing. It’s as if the ocean is taking my anxiety and pulling it away and washing it out to sea.

Whenever one of us needed a break, Dan and I would head to the beach

Both of us slept better at the beach, and reveled in the soothing sounds of the ocean and breezes. It was our haven and a place we delighted in. We went to the beach because we loved it, too. Not just to deal with stress, but for renewal and to revel in the power of the ocean and the sun playing on the waves, shimmering like diamonds.

We often talked about moving closer to the beach—imagining a beach-bum existence where we would spend days digging our toes into the warm sand and learning the moods of the ocean. We dreamt of watching the full moon rising over the sea; something we happened upon serendipitously at Vero Beach, a favorite destination.

We never moved to the beach—it was a dream unfulfilled. When my husband was diagnosed with lung cancer a year ago, we vowed that we would make that dream come true when he recovered. Alas, that too, was a dream.

I still go to the beach when life gets to be too hard—when friends disappoint, when I am faced with situations that I can’t control, and especially when I need to connect with God. That’s where I feel God’s presence most strongly.

I often go by myself. In some ways, I prefer the solitude. Company would be nice, especially at dinner—but I like to be able to set my own schedule or lack of it.

When I was in Catholic grade school, we sang a hymn that had this refrain, “Shoreless ocean who shall sound thee, they eternity is round Thee, Holy Trinity, Holy Trinity.”

Sitting on the beach, or walking along looking for seashells, that hymn becomes my conscious thought.  And then peace washes over me and I find I am energized to face another day, another week, another month and maybe even another year.