Insomnia—a dreaded word. And a dreaded condition. It conjures up images of tired people barely getting through the day in zombie-like trances.
I have insomnia. Sometimes it’s not so bad and I sleep more or less regularly. I go to bed and within fifteen or so minutes, I fall asleep. Then I awake the next morning more or less refreshed.
Then there are the other nights. The nights when nothing brings sleep on—praying, meditating, listening to white noise or getting up and reading.
In desperation, I often go to the computer and play mindless games—a favorite is Mah johng—not real Mah johng, but the computer game where you match up tiles. I play the game endlessly,
hoping to become so tired that I fall asleep with my hand on the mouse.
hoping to become so tired that I fall asleep with my hand on the mouse.
Finally, I will swallow a Benadryl and nestle into the recliner (aka Big Blue) until I fall into
an exhausted haze until dawn. Sometimes dawn is only an hour or two after I
finally go to sleep. On a few horrifying nights, I finally fell asleep when it was dawn. And on one or two nights it
was 7a.m. before sleep finally rescued me from my despair.
an exhausted haze until dawn. Sometimes dawn is only an hour or two after I
finally go to sleep. On a few horrifying nights, I finally fell asleep when it was dawn. And on one or two nights it
was 7a.m. before sleep finally rescued me from my despair.
I know other people have sleep problems.
They avoid things like eating chocolate and drinking caffeinated coffee right
before bed. They take a Tylenol PM and then sleep through the night. They advise me to do the same—even though I know that taking another pill will do nothing for me.
They avoid things like eating chocolate and drinking caffeinated coffee right
before bed. They take a Tylenol PM and then sleep through the night. They advise me to do the same—even though I know that taking another pill will do nothing for me.
My insomnia is not caused by caffeine or arthritic aches and pains.
I don’t sleep because I can’t turn off my mind . I lay awake planning the next day’s activities. Lately, I’ve been
writing Flash Fiction stories in my head. Or I worry about getting my novels published. I make plans to market them. And then I think about how I can cannibalize them to write new stories or even novels.
writing Flash Fiction stories in my head. Or I worry about getting my novels published. I make plans to market them. And then I think about how I can cannibalize them to write new stories or even novels.
It worries me that I now call it “my insomnia,” like it’s a precious possession, or some personality trait that defines me. I don’t want it to be part of who I am. I want it to be something I’ve overcome, something that used to be a problem for me. Or I at least want to make peace with it and learn to coexist.
So, for the time being, my insomnia will keep me awake until I come up with a scheme to trick it into leaving me in peace.
Sleep well, my friends.
All too familiar!
Obviously–we are both still up!! I hope you sleep well, Betty.
Please mention my blog to your friends.
Thanks!!
I feel more refreshed than ever, knowing that there’s someone else who plays mahjong on line when they can’t sleep! While my mind is spinning with ridiculous scenarios, I console myself with the fact that I no longer have to go to work and face a room full of children, or fight the traffic on Route 80! Ah… the blessings of being retired and living in Solivita!
I share your feeling of relief knowing that I don’t have to face a day with energetic kids the next day!
You know I get where you are coming from!!
All too well, Sandi!
Kathy, I hope that you find the much needed sleep you need.
Is this my world or what? I have read that in some tribes the post-menopausal women gather in a central area to chat quietly through the night. Perhaps we need to find a location like that in Solivita.
My personal “prescription” is m&m: meditation (trains the mind to empty) and melatonin.
I know how you feel, Kathy. Many a night watching DVR tv shows. I am trying to get rid of the “my” in my insomnia. That way it is not a possession. Try it and see if it works. Otherwise, I like the idea of a gathering in Solivita for insomniacs.
I love that idea of not making it “my” insomnia–like a possesion I cherish! Good thought. I have a whole roster of us night owls!